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In one study of successful men and women, most of whom started from humble beginnings, the researchers found that all
Almost in their early youth, they were avid readers of translation books and biographies, and while they were reading the life stories of famous men and women, they imagined themselves having the same characteristics as the great ones they were studying . And then, when they reached maturity, these traits and virtues became part of their thinking, and guided their choices and decisions in their next life .following a model has been used as an effective means of personal and self-development throughout history. The youngsters were also encouraged to study the lives of heroes and heroines during the school stage, and emulate them as much as possible . In the military, heroic models of soldiers and sailors from the past are studied as part of the school curriculum, encouraging young soldiers and sailors to emulate them in thinking and behavior when the situation requires it .
The people you look up to with admiration and respect have a great influence on the way you think and feel about yourself, as well as on the quality of the decisions you make. who are the role models that you emulate.
Carefully select the models you are following.
It's okay to be preoccupied with other people's feelings, their reactions to you and your choices . When you select admirable people to look up to, by this you gain an inner guide who will lead you to treat yourself the way.
It remains from stupidity and what causes self-destruction that: yourself let.
The extreme influence of the fleeting opinions of others is among those whose opinion or respect is of no importance or value to you . If you have grown up young to destructive criticism , you can easily fall into the trap of arranging your life affairs in a constant attempt to gain acceptance , or to escape from the non-acceptance, of those you do not know or care about.
Here is a way to avoid this multiplication of negative emotions: men and women with whom you have the greatest admiration, the traits that they have and would like to emulate the most . And from now on, when you have to make a decision, think about a person you like and ask this question " What Would he or she do in such a situation?" "
When you ask this question ,you are actually communicating. With an unconscious level that has a higher energy it will give you guidance and insight . She'll risk you
An inner knowledge of exactly the right thing, whether it is word or deed, and you will make the right decision and achieve the desired result. Many successful men and women use this method . Try it and you will see the result.
The fourth main cause of negative emotions, according to "uzbinsky", the causative agent of anger, revenge, envy, jealousy, frustration is blame . Specifically, the type that generates anger, the worst negative emotion of all, and anger is the most destructive energy in the whole world . Anger that gets out of control destroys health, relationships, families, businesses, and communities , and is the main generator of wars, revolutions, and conflict.
The first reason for anger can be traced back to destructive criticism in early childhood . Whenever a person is criticized, he reacts exactly as if he is being subjected to.
To attack, that is, in a defensive and dismissive manner . Since any behavior that you do over and over again becomes a habit, many people acquire the habit of responding with anger to every problem, disappointment, or frustration they experience. And eventually they get to a point where they're always angry about something . To get into a state of anger, one must be able to blame someone for something that happened or did not happen, as this does not agree with his whims many are busy blaming others for their problems that lose contact with the real reality . They see the whole world through the lenses of blame, and the emotion inherent in it is guilt.
Whenever a problem arises, personal or public, an angry person automatically concludes that someone must be to blame . This individual then spends his time and emotion distributing blame among the various parties . This obsession with blame and anger can lead to revenge and envy, and often destroys the person who is at risk .
Here's a common example. Two people marry for love . Both of them have the best intentions and the highest aspirations for the future, otherwise they would not have married in the first place, but unfortunately people and situations change with time . The couple turns out that they are no longer happy with each other, and they decide to divorce . But only then do the problems really begin and instead of understanding as two adults, they reach a point where they can no longer continue to live together, they no longer want to, and the blame must be shared . Someone must be convicted . The guilty party must be punished . The conflict extends to lawyers and judges, and informants and chartered accountants may be used to dig up the abusive aspects of each of the parties ' lives. The situation gets worse and worse, until eventually it ends in anger, bitterness, accusations and even hatred.
The best solutions are when a marital relationship fails to accept the truth as a fait accompli.
Unfortunately, taking reasonable conditions on both parties, and then each of them continues their life with the favor, many husbands and wives are currently following this matter through mediation, instead of going through the bitterness of the traditional divorce. The results turn out to be in favor of all parties, it is a psychological fact that the vast majority of people feel that they are right in everything they do . But as soon as one of them starts criticizing the other, or worse, demanding that the other person admit his guilt, emotional and legal battles break out . The saddest aspect of these legal battles is that they often end up where they started , with very little to be gained.
The best way to eliminate anger of all kinds is to accept responsibility . Accepting responsibility will immediately cut off the feelings of anger . All the energy necessary for the existence of anger disappears . As soon as she says: "I'm in charge ! "Until your anger stops . According to the law of substitution, the fact that your mind can only hold one thought at a time, you cannot accept responsibility for a situation, and be angry at the same time . The idea of blame on which anger depends is also set aside by deciding to accept responsibility.
There are two basic ways of looking at the world . You can have a unique worldview.
With a positive and benevolent or a look characterized by negativity and malice .
Take responsibility for yourself and what happens to you, become a positive person . She sees the world in the framework of goodness and charity . You become more optimistic about yourself and about the good prospects, you become a happier and more effective person .
On the other hand, when you adopt a negative or malicious view of the world, you will only see problems and injustice everywhere . You will see persecution and evil . And you see oscillating people in every corner around you . You see caveats, limitations and unfairness instead of seeing opportunities and hope . Worst of all, you spend your time blaming different people and institutions for all the problems you see .
For example, in the United States you find much better people than . Others . This is also true of all societies throughout the history of humanity . This has been for multiple reasons . It may be a consequence that there are different people who have multiple talents, ambitions, hopes . It may be the result of some people working harder, having a better start in life, being born with deeper intelligence than others, or simply being in the right place at the right time to catch up with the best direction in the economy . After all, we cannot blame the rich for the existence of the poor . Healthy people are also not to blame for the fact that others are sick . And there is no blame for the successful and happy because there are those who are neither successful nor happy . There is no crime committed by people who have secured a decent life for themselves and their families because of others who have not done the same
Success does not cause failure. If proportionality is not cause and effect, it is not because the two occur alternately that this means that one led to the other . Honest acceptance of this simple truth will solve many arguments.
And disagreements at the philosophical and political levels