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The root cause of negative emotions , the main factor that inclines any person to blame, anger and revenge , fear and suspicion, envy and jealousy, is
The inability to forgive, to forgive someone who we feel somehow offended us during our childhood development, we go through a stage when "Justice" is very important for us . We focus on the concept of "equity" . We are upset by any situation in our life that does not seem to us to be characterized by Justice and fairness, and injustice is inflicted on anyone, especially if it concerns us . Whenever we feel that we have been treated unfairly or anyone else has been treated unfairly for any reason, we consider it a personal attack . Our weak self-esteem is threatened, we take an angry reaction . This is a natural stage of development during our growth in order for us to pass through and move to a stage
And sleep
Adulthood and maturity . Despite this, some people are fixed at this stage and never mature beyond it . If we do not learn the importance of putting aside our tragedies as children, we will go to maturity with a load of experiences that have not been erased by tolerance . If we're not careful, we'll build our lives around being angry at people we feel responsible for something they've done that we don't agree with . Many psychiatrists and psychoanalysts spend their entire professional life helping people cope with unhappy past and present experiences , cope
With her
That
The most powerful decision you can make that will set you free is to forgive anyone who may have once offended you in any way . Only by freeing the other person in your mind, by forgiving him or her, can you free yourself . That is why all religions are keen on the need for tolerance as a first step
Towards the attainment of self-peace and worldly grace
Just imagine how you would feel if you didn't have any anger towards anyone
A person in absolutely the whole world . Imagine that you are a one hundred percent positive, optimistic and cheerful person, endowed with high levels of self-esteem, enthusiasm and boundless self-confidence . Imagine being a loving, friendly, warm-hearted person ،
Have feelings of inner calm and tranquility . All this is available to you if you practice tolerance and forgiveness .
Conversely, failure to forgive or refusal to forgive is the basis for negativity, anger, stress, tension, mental and physical ill-being, and often misery . Your refusal to forgive keeps you locked in these negative emotions . While tolerance makes you free . It is always an option available to you . It has nothing to do with the other person or the situation itself .
Course
The thing
It takes two people
Some people show tolerance based on a fundamentally wrong assumption that they think that by forgiving they are condoning the behavior of the person who provoked all this anger in them . They think that if they forgive the other person, they are doing that person a favor. Rather, they think that by doing so they are freeing this other person, which they should not be doing . The fact is that to build one prison it takes two people, that is, a prisoner and a jailer . Both are in prison . And when you let the other person go free, you are yourself with this . You don't have to condone or accept the disgraceful behavior, nor to tend to this person who has offended you, you only have to forgive him or her so that you can continue the rest of your life . With this in mind, tolerance is a completely selfish act. And he-really-has nothing to do with the other person on
Release
Launch . It's only about your mental well-being, your psychological peace
"I don't hold any grudges or grudges," says comedian Buddy Hackett . Whoever does that can't help but show it, like it or not ! "
When you remain angry at another person, you give up your control over
Your feelings for this person every time you think about him or her . You are allowing him or her to control your emotions for a long time . By refusing to forgive , you let that person manage your love life however he wants, exactly as if he were right about it , and as if the same situation is repeated over and over again
The path to tolerance
The path to being tolerant is not arduous . Every time you think about the other. Invoke the substitution law and say, "God bless him; I forgive him for everything he has done, and I wish him well" . It is not possible to pray to God for another person and forgive him, and at the same time you get angry about him or upset about him . A positive thought erases a negative one
You can speed up the process of personal liberation by taking responsibility for your role in what happened. It is a small handful of negative events that evoke anger and revenge and occur independently of us, or without our will . It is almost inevitable that you will contribute something to the current situation. Therefore, you need to be mature enough to accept your share of responsibility . And then you can say : "I am responsible . I should have stayed out of the situation from the start, or stayed in it all this time . I shouldn't have done what I did . I completely forgave this person and put it aside."
At first, it may be difficult for you to forgive . Those previous phrases will be difficult for you to say . Many people have built their adult lives based on their tragedies and wounds. They fear that they will have nothing left to talk about if they stop complaining about their parents or their unhappy marriages . But let's not worry about you
.
When you forgive and forgive others, you will soon feel happy and peaceful . Because when the feelings of anger and resentment dissipate, your mind will fill up
Personal intimate relationships
The second group of people you should forgive are people with whom you formed intimate relationships, but it didn't work out . Marriage and intimate relationships can be very influential, very threatening to your feelings of esteem and self-esteem, which can make you angry and intolerant towards these people for years.
But you were at least partially responsible . To have the personal strength and dignity to say : "I am responsible," then forgive the other person and forget about the whole thing, say : "I forgive her / him for everything, I wish her / him the best every time you repeat this phrase, the negative emotions associated with that memory will decrease . And soon they disappear forever .
The message
Many of those who have learned in my programs have found the "letter" to be a way to put aside a bad relationship forever . This is an effective way that will
.
It frees you from feelings of anger and remorse, almost instantly . Here's how it works : you sit down and write the other person a letter of forgiveness . It consists of three parts .
First you say, "I forgive you for doing anything that offended me," secondly, you write a description or list of everything that you are still angry about . Some write many pages in this part
Third
The message ends with the words, " I wish you all the best."
Then you take the letter to the mailbox and drop it inside . At this moment in time
You will feel a tremendous sense of relief , be liberated , finally freed
With positive thoughts . And you will become more energetic and energetic, and you will also feel more powerful and confident , and the future will shine before you , as the summer sun shines
Don't worry about what your friends will think or say when you decide to forgive people who have offended you . Your friends are often tired of hearing you complain about the unfortunate events of your past . The fact is that when you start forgiving, you often find that the only bond you have with some people is complaining and crying sessions . When you start forgiving others, you may not find them encouraging to chat
With them
People you should forgive
There are four groups of people you need to forgive, as long as you are serious about changing your thinking and changing your life
.
The first group is parents, both living and deceased . You must inevitably forgive them for every mistake they made during your upbringing . At the very least, be grateful to them for giving you life . They're the ones who brought you here . If you are happy just because you are alive, you can forgive them anything else . Don't complain about them again .
It should
That
Many of the participants in my forums call their parents or visit them to tell them that they have forgiven them and forgiven them for everything . This simple act of courage and strength of character often has a profound impact on their relationship with their mothers and fathers . Since that day good friends, which lasted for the rest
They have become with them . Their life together . On the other hand, if you don't forgive your parents, you will remain a child forever . That is, you yourself are hindering your chance to mature into an effective adult. You continue to consider yourself a victim . Even worse, keeping negative feelings of inferiority and anger burning inside you if your parents died without you forgiving them, may bother you for the rest
Your life .